Men and Women Differ in Dealing with a Busy Day

We all have masculine and feminine qualities. However, some traits are quite different and influence how we process a busy day. This time, we're discussing fundamental differences between men and women.

But first a disclaimer. What I'm writing about here is very common but varies from person to person in terms of the extent to which it applies and how it's experienced. Therefore, investigate how it applies to you and make the most of it. There is so much more to tell, but let’s make a beginning.

Why De-Stress?

I'm just busy, so I'm not stressed, right? You don't have to feel "stressed" to have a certain tension in your body. We've almost become accustomed to rushing through the day without consciously taking time to relax. Maybe today's topic will make you think about something you might take for granted or be less aware of. When I talk about daily de-stressing, I mean finding your inner peace when you come home from work and the hectic outside world. For many of us, the day is filled, often quite busy, and we come home with experiences, thoughts, and emotions. Men and women differ in how they process these.

How does She Handle it?

The first difference occurs when you arrive home. For many women, they can only relax when the house is somewhat in order, while a bit of mess doesn't hinder most men from relaxing. Coming home to a messy environment is an extra stress factor for many women that needs to be addressed before they can relax.

For most women, relaxation begins when they can process their day's experiences by talking to someone. This serves three purposes for them. Firstly, it allows them to vent and release steam about the day's events. Secondly, most women can only put things in order when they speak about them and view these matters from different angles. And finally, sharing is also a form of loving for women. They only do this with people who are important to them. Thus, they need someone else to talk about the day's troubles.

How does He Handle it?

This is in contrast to most men, for whom relaxation occurs by withdrawing for a short time and being alone. For example, by reading the newspaper, watching TV, doing a small task, engaging in relaxing sports, or simply sitting on the couch and staring into space. They are organizing their thoughts about the day and putting everything in its place. They're in their "cave," and being interrupted in this process isn't pleasant for them as long as they still feel tension. Sometimes men believe that intensive exercise also helps them relax. While it undoubtedly shifts their thoughts, strenuous physical activity actually adds extra stress to the body. So, relaxation is still not achieved. Sometimes, men don't even realize why they feel restless because they aren't aware that this is an important (daily) process that isn't getting any attention.

How can You Support Each Other?

First, explore what works for each of you individually. Discuss it with each other and try to find a solution that suits both of you. It might happen at different times of the day, especially if there are children involved who also demand attention. If his alone time is a recurring ritual, then she knows when to leave him in peace. He can support her by indicating how long he needs if he wants more alone time than usual. If he wants to score points, he can make it a habit to express his gratitude with a small gesture afterward.

When men talk about problems with each other, they seek help and a solution. Therefore, they want to solve problems when you share them with them. This also makes them feel important, and of course, they want to make their loved ones' problems disappear! It's important for him to realize that he doesn't need to solve anything when she wants to de-stress. Tell him that it's just about releasing steam - and that he doesn't need to solve or remember anything. He should be attentive to her and not focused on his phone. Give him a small expression of gratitude afterward.

Want to know more?

There is still so much more to discover about each other's differences. It's not only fun to dive into these differences, but it will also bring mutual understanding and help in your communication. I find Alison Armstrong the best in this area. From a woman's perspective, she explains the differences very well. Another well-known author is John Gray, the writer of the Mars and Venus books. In his books, he provides tips on how to incorporate these differences into the way you communicate with your partner.

All these things are incorporated into our online training.