Why your Relationship is like a hot air balloon …. Really :-)
TOP STORIES
Read how this symbol helps you to understand and remember what is important to keep your relationship “in the air” - It brings simplicity amid the complexity of daily life. It also confronts you how you neglect or screw up.
Every relationship has its ups and downs….like a hot air balloon
This seems to happen randomly. However, if you allow yourself to compare the dynamics of a relationship to the movements of a hot air balloon, it will help you to truly understand it. It’s the first step towards handling it. The forces that create the up and down of a hot air balloon are fuel and ballast.
If you learn to recognize how both combine to cause this up and down movement, you will be able to study your own Relationship balloon. So you can look at your relationship from a distance and understand how you can become better balloonists to experience a high level of trust, friendship, intimacy and passion. This metaphor will stick and helps you remember.
You are both Balloonist - controlling Fuel and Ballast
Positive actions that add fuel to the relationship include spending quality time together, keeping each other involved in each other's lives, maintaining admiration, fulfilling each other's needs, and keeping the romance alive. If these actions satisfy the seven relationship needs, they will ensure that the balloon receives plenty of fuel. Conversely, negative actions such as arguing instead of discussing issues, complaining, making snide remarks, building emotional walls, or threatening to end the relationship add ballast, causing the balloon to descend.
Couples often mistakenly believe their actions have a random effect on the relationship, but the connection between their behavior and the balloon's response is visible and predictable. The challenge is that some may not be aware that their behavior creates ballast instead of fuel, while others struggle to change their habits or don't know what behaviors would work better.
Two main strategies for altitude
To maintain altitude, there are two strategies in terms of fuel and ballas. You can either compensate with fuel after creating ballast. For instance, apologizing and proposing a fun activity after an argument. However, repeated compensation can lose its effectiveness over time and negative experiences stick longer with us then positive. In other words, you need to work harder to compensate negative behavior. Much better is to avoid creating ballast in the first place by always keeping connection while addressing conflicts constructively and eliminating sabotaging behavior. In the mean time of course, you keep working on creating fuel. This method is way more sustainable as it reduces the need for excessive compensation.
Another two reasons why It’s powerful to compare it to a Hot Air Balloon
Firstly because it reminds us to keep putting fuel in it on a regular basis. Otherwise - like a balloon that does not get enough fuel - it cools down and will slowly descend, sometimes without us noticing it. If all goes well in a relationship we tend to put less effort in it. Neglecting the relationship, even if unintentional, will lead to its gradual decline. It may also be that we mistakenly believe we are investing time but fail to provide the right kind of attention, resulting in a relationship that doesn't get fueled.
The second reason is that it reminds you of the time delay that is present for most of the efforts that you put into it. In other words, don’t expect immediate results when you create fuel. Or don’t fall into the trap that a ballast that wasn’t dealt with, will eventually fade out. It will stick and surface some other moment if not handled.
There is so much to learn about how this looks like in your relationship. Yet it’s extremely powerful to learn it. The online trainings will provide you with all the material needed to fligh higher then you have done before. It’s in our experienced program.